10 Years

It's supposed to be a happy time for me, though it's not. My husband is over a thousand miles away, I am alone, and Halloween is around the corner with me not knowing if he will be here for the festivities. On top of all that, he left me the one thing I have asked repetitively to never do again. Flowers... something to watch die in his absence. Though it may seem petty, or wrong that a woman doesn't want flowers, right? In all reality, flowers symbolize a woman wanting to be heard and understood by her husband. Ever since my grandfather's death in 2001 I have asked several times for him to not buy me something that dies. Then my cousin passing in June, he got them for my birthday, another discussion. My mentor/cousin dies this month and he buys them again for our anniversary. I almost felt like he was sending a message even though I know this was not his intent. They were pretty for the first couple days, but on day three, they just made me cry :(