I wish there were more glimmers...

So Mikayla is getting older, there is no denying it. Not when she has a mouth, an attitude, and stomp followed by a door slam like no other. She's in 4th grade now and between school, the gifted program, and school activities, we just feel like she's finally getting to that stage where she is pulled more by her peer's opinion than ours. We knew it would happen, we were pretty sure it would happen soon, but I am not sure we thought she would be so capable of fury at this age. She is short with her siblings and often snaps as an automatic response to everything. As a parent it's challenging to begin with but the longer I work outside of the home, the more I become impatient with this attitude. Doesn't she know how lucky she is to be surrounded with her core family? She's not a child of divorce, she's not a child of a blended family, she's not the child of uninvolved parents. So I guess I wonder "What does she really have to gripe about? It could be worse!" And I know being the oldest is hard, it makes you patient, even when you don't want to be. I know that with four kids, the house is loud, it can make you crazy at times. I know that it's frustrating when others get into your stuff. I just wish she would breathe before she reacts, yk?

And as I see this negative behavior, I do get infuriated with the explosiveness of it all. I find myself using breathing activities quite a bit! And then WHAM! This small little random act of kindness glimmers in front of me. She will do something so nice, so selfless, so remarkable that I will often find myself asking, is this my kid? Is this the kid that just screamed at a sibling for not sharing markers? No... it can't be! And then I am proven wrong. It's her, I am getting through to her, we are starting to see her use the information around her, the teachings we have tried to instill, and her own self making the "right" decisions! It's this glimmer of hope that she is going the way she needs to in decifering right from wrong, good from bad, and consideration instead of selfishness.

All school year her gifted program has been earning something called Hartmann Hearts. They represent $$$. At the end of every trimester they are holding an auction (prizes bought by the teacher) and they need to bid in their range. Now there are several things available to them... music, lip gloss, jewelery, books, all sorts of toys and more. Mikayla had $450 Hartmann Hearts and that was a decent amount of money to bid with. So when she has the opportunity to bid on things I know she loves I think of what her normal reaction is. To get what she wants because she wants it. Mikayla took a different route. She knew that Camryn made it 7 weeks going seizure free and she wanted to help Camryn celebrate with a "prize". So she bid on a doll she knew that Camryn would love. Just to do something for her sister. Now tell me that doesn't say something....