Another day has passed...

I know that they say time heals the heart. Helps it to move on. Myabe I am strange. It wouldn't be new.
Mike was a postive person who wanted us to move on in doing something positive. He wanted us to be strong. Now most of us are shocked still, some are crying about everything. I am not there. We knew this was coming, in the sense that AML was difficult to fight. We knew that Mike had a time limit. It was the peace that he made with it that kept me strong through this. Mike knew his time on earth was limited, most angels do. And as I rushed to meet my mother to drive up to the hospital, so many things rushed through my head. Thoughts of memories, asking why, and wondering if his mother would be in danger if we left her alone. Then, as I sat waiting for my mother, this calm feeling washed over me. I could almost feel Mike rubbing my shoulders like he did when he could tell I was stressed. The tears stopped, my heart slowed down. It's like I could feel him there trying to make me open up to hearing his message. My mother calls it an out of body experience, but I see it as an attempt to connect instead. I think that Mike wants me to move forward with this with a purpose. I think he wants me to be the rock for everyone else and remind them of his words when he was on this journey. Mike wanted to fight this disease, but I know that God would not let him suffer any more if he didn't think he would still be here with us. I really feel that I have found what direction I am supposed to go in my life. (I have been secretly waiting for this, and now it's here) I am supposed to take the lessons that Mike has taught me about compassion, consideration, and helping others and move forward with it. To help others with what they can't do for themselves. To help them find peace in times of stress. I finally get it. I really believe that is why I feel so calm in all of this.
In the wise words of my friend Jovi, (and I am paraphrasing) it's often when we forget to help others and choose not to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves that we lose a piece of humility in this world.
Next mission? Figure out how to move forward with AML, ACS, LAF, and how I want to help find the answer to this horrible disease that takes away the people we love.

My favorite words right now???
I heard the news today, it came out of no where, wish I could run away, but where would I go, is this my destiny? something to wonder, what will become of me, god only knows.
And they say the road to heaven, it might lead us back though hell.

maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, we'll win this fight and bury this sorrow.
We're so alive, still holding on, not ready to die, so we LIVE STRONG!

My pride is left for dead as my world gets shaken, the thoughts inside my head are so hard to control. Stearing down the unknown, one thing for certain, it may break my body, but NEVER break my soul.
And they say the road to heaven, it might lead us back though hell. So were holding on for more than stories to tell.
maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, we'll win this fight and bury this sorrow.
We're so alive, still holding on, not ready to die, so we LIVE STRONG!

We LIVE STRONG, We LIVE STRONG, We LIVE STRONG.

we will live strong
we will live strong
we will live strong

maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, we'll win this fight and bury this sorrow.
We're so alive, still holding on, not ready to die, not ready to die!!!!

maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, we'll win this fight and bury this sorrow.
We're so alive, still holding on, not ready to die, so we LIVE STRONG!

This band has been my favorite for almost 3 years. Since Feb of 2006. They were going to be on the first boat I went on. Little did I know the significance they would have in my life. I am proud to say they will be on the boat in 2009 and I will be bringing a photo of Mike for them to sign. I can't believe how the circle has come around for me.

Thanks Mike!