LIFE

LIFE. IS. HARD.
When life throws you a curve, you try to dodge, bounce back, do whatever to stay on track. Sometimes you get so many curves you just need to decompress. This last week I had the kind of curve. One that I am sure I can come back from, but not without everything I have got, kwim? I need to find my inner strength, take steps to move forward, and just plain old, get past it. But I just can't seem to. I know it's a funk, but I just can't make myself. Certain things need to happen first. So this weekend I am going to take my mind off it. I am setting up a personal challenge. It won't be easy, but not because of what it is, I love what it is. but because my life never stops. I am an accountant, I am a wife, I am a mother, I am a step mother, I am a daughter, I am a neighbor, I am a friend. But where is my heart when it comes to me? I am a photographer. It's my passion, it's my thing that no matter the storm, I can decompress with. It feeds my soul. I need to get back to the things that feed my soul, so when life hands me curves, I am there to dodge, bounce back, and get on track.

So here is the challenge. 100 photos. doesn't sound like that much for most photographers, but I am setting a higher standard.

100 photos in 3 days.
all different, interesting, and what I see around me that makes me smile. My life, my world, my loves.
I will not post them all at once. I will relive the smile,one photo at a time.
I will work on using my camera and less editing to work on my craft.


After all this, I hope to see where my funk is, and see if it's gone with the wind. I will reevaluate where I stand with my soul. I will invite those around me to remind me what makes me smile. I will remember, that I have something that people dream of. I have the love of a man that I adore, children who remind me everyday that I was put on this earth to be their mother (stepmother too!). I will regain my strength in telling life's curves, YOU. GOT. NOTHING. ON. ME!

Remember me?

I hardly remembered. I couldn't remember the fun, spontanious, adventurous girl that I used to be. She was gone. Long gone. For good. Or so I thought. However, all it took was someone from my past to remind me that she was still there. Still wanting to have fun, get out, and bring that smile everywhere she went. It took the right person, someone who was full of life, who wanted to move forward like I soooo longed to do. That person who wanted nothing more than to build the life they were intended to with someone who appreciated it as much as they did.

See, I spent several years unhappy in my life. Several years wondering, "Is this what I was supposed to be?" And after years of being unhappy it was time for change. MAJOR CHANGE. I decided that if I was going to be happy, I needed to make changes for myself, with myself, and by myself to be the best mom I could be for my kids. Four little angels brought into this world that deseved so much more from me. So I had to tell my husband of 11 years, enough was enough. Was it easy? No. Was it right? YES.

So I spent time working on myself, working on my health, both mental and physical. I had a ton of time to think and work through emotions as I walked countless miles every night. Soon my head started to clear up enough to run. And the weight that I had been carrying for so many years started to fall off. I was healing as I put on those miles, and growing as a person every step of every mile. It really was a process that I cannot explain, but I know that's when my life started to take shape.

Last summer I ran into some old friends. Friends from a time when I was free to be myself, free to try new things, friends who really understood the free spirit that I needed to be. As my friends learned about my life they had missed out on, I learned about theirs and started to understand that I wasn't alone in how unhappy I was for so many years. This also helped me to understand the importance of being happy. Not only for myself, but for my children. They deserved to know that you can go for what you want in life, no matter how scary, it's a matter of getting to where you're supposed to be.

As time went on, Charlie and I got to know each other more and more, we became best friends who could share our stories with someone who really understood. And I can't tell you how incredible it is to find someone who knows you, accepts you for who you are, and still manages to like to enough to talk to you for hours on end every day. Having someone like that in your life is invaluable. It's PRICELESS.

Charlie has this amazing way of making me smile, laugh, and be myself, even when the worst has happened to me. He recognizes when I need him without me having to speak a word. It's one of the best qualities he has. There is this connection that neither of us could explain, but we knew it was right. So when we went to Las Vegas for a Dart tournament the last week of April, we decided "why wait???" And tied the knot! Yep, that's right, on April 24th I married the love of my life and I couldn't be happier :)

See?


So as I return to my regular blogging (because I finally remembered my password it had been so long, LOL)
I want to say, thank you to my angels (Grandpa and Mike) who I am positive brought Charlie back into my life. I am so grateful every day for him and can't wait to see what the future holds for us :)

56 sounds like a great number to me!

Well it's October 10th and I am exactly 42 days away from my friend Jill's wedding in Vegas. And I am down 56 lbs. I am so thrilled I can hardly stand it. It's been quite a bit of hard work and I am by no means done, BUT, I am 56 lbs lighter and in just about everything I do I am noticing it. My goal was 60 by the wedding but now I am thinking of changing that to 75 lbs. I know, I am crazy. the only thing is that I would need to cut the days by 12 in order to have the dress altered and make sure it still fits on 11/21. what is a girl to do? Can I push myself and lose 14 more lbs in 30 days and then just lose the last 5 before I get to Vegas?????

Any insight on this subject would be greatly appreciated, but I get that you guys are super busy, so drop the line here, FB, or by email!!!

Recent Scrapbooking work

I am down 5 more lbs!!!

Just sharing the excitement! That's 27 out of 60 lbs that I need to lose by November 21st. WOO HOO!!!

Creeping Christmas Tree

Or better known as Pitoriosis Roscea. UGH, stupid rash you get for 1-3 weeks after a virus. Elli has now had this, after the chicken pox. Are you kidding me? She gets vaccinated twice, gets chicken pox because I had the shingles, then she gets a virus supposedly on top of that (with no symptoms) and then breaks out in this horrid rash? Poor kid can't catch a break. Either can her mama. I still have phantom shingle pain :(

I scrapped!!!

I know, I can hardly believe it myself~ It's been months! I have been making cards, and doing swaps, and all sorts of creative stuff with the camera and the pictures that I print, but I haven't scrapped any of them. So. My friend Stephanie had a crop at her house, which is about a mile from my house, so it just made it easier. After some delicious taco dip, buffalo chicken dip, and some great girl conversation time, I had a product of four pages. like them as they are, but some of them need just a little something...

This one needs an ice cream cone embellishment.

I am not sure I like the frog as is on this Layout, but I am thinking of a way to spice it up!

This one I am die cutting a butterfly out of the red polka dot paper and the cream paper below it.

This one needs a green tractor or something under the title...


Other than that, I love them! It felt so good to be creative for a while, but now I know I need WAY more time!

Where have I been????

I know, I am a slacker!!! But only on the blog, I promise! I have been a busy girl just trying to get the house painted and get stuff together for more painting! no to mention trying to get the photography stuff off the ground. It's a busy days, filled with work, kids, house, and now a work out routine. See my friend is getting married in November and I have about 3 weeks left to order my dress. WHOA. I also have about 38 lbs to lose before November 21st as well. So for now, I will reap the benefits of victory for a repainted main floor and 22lbs down :)

Everything is Growing...

So aside from the four weeds that reside in my house (seriously who grows out of a size in less than 6 weeks???) We started a garden! Tomatoes, Peppers, Jalapenos, and maybe some green onions if I can ever get to it this weekend when I am a fishing widow!


As you can see, these were taken pre-weekend chores.

Summer Fun

I know that I have been MIA, but I have been busy, things to do!!

Cupcakes...

I love cupcakes, but now that I really have to limit how much I eat (yes, dieting stinks!) I can only have this kind of cupcake!

SCCHHOOOOOOLLL'SS OUT for the SUMMA!

As you can see, Elli's new phrase is leggo my donut man!

It's the last day of school and I am just as excited as they are that we have no homework, no fighting, and no major schedule for 3 whole months!

I will miss Mr. Jason, he has been with us for almost 3 years now and I am just sad to see the day to day communication come to an end. There are very few people in this world that know how to make your life wider and fuller than you ever thought it could be and when you lose those friends because the "season" is over, it's almost painful. Now I know he'll be down the hall from Camryn's class next year, but it's just not the same. You know that it's a cool relationship when they tell you "feel free to have more children and bring them my way" just heart melting, ya know?


Elli too has had a wonderful teacher that couldn't have given her a better start to her formative school years, Mrs. Christa. She is happy, funny, and caring of how children need to be raised, and not just about how to keep them happy. My kind of lady!

They were like two peas in a pod :)

They look happy for summer, don't they?

I think I agree :)

Funny part? I don't use a comb, I use a pic :)

You Are a Comb

You are expressive and outgoing. You like to experiment with your personal style. You are imaginative and very visual. You like to look good, and you're attracted to beauty. You are creative and design oriented. You redecorate often, and you like to make yourself over. You are inventive and extremely original. You do things differently just because it feels good.

What Bathroom Product Are You?

Don't you just love spring?

I know I do :)




And I love temper tantrums, especially when it's not my kid :)




I really love that look that as a mom you know your kid is making when you're not facing them! Stay strong Stacie!

ummm... yup! It's Friday!

I need Coffee! (to the tune of 'I want candy') you know you're going to have this in your head all day!

CRAZY!!!

Life has been absolutely insane. Getting Camryn back to normal, getting our lives back to normal, and completing all the things that were left behind in the rush of the last 6 weeks.
So let's see, Cam is doing well, for the most part, today was a bit draining for her and I am wondering if we are borderline of getting her meds upped again. Dan's company is doing layoffs again which always brings on the stress. The weather is getting nice so we have yardwork on the calendar again. On top of all of this? I have three interviews tomorow and another one on Thursday for a Revenue position! Talk about CRAZY stress! I love my job, I just want something that makes me use my brain (and my degree) a little more. Not to mention learning a different angle of the business would be pretty cool as well:) The only thing that I worry about is that I won't get it with all the medical emergencies that Camryn has had. What do you say to that? I can't plan the future, but I can promise you that I am worth it? Should be interesting!

Well I did manage to get a few cute pictures this weekend :)
I love how Camryn loves her uncle Collin :)


This was taken from the window of my FIL's condo, though close to the airport, this was from the 3rd floor :)

Another Shunt Revision

So Camryn was still having issues with her shunt and so we needed to go in for exploratory surgery to see why it wasn't working for her when it was clearly functioning. She needed a shunt with more sucking power, so last Friday we went in again to get it done, and wow what a difference. She recovered faster, she was ready to go much faster, and she stopped napping all day long! Some pictures to share :)

Cam brought her bear, "PinkBerry" to the hospital to keep her company. He was made by one of Dan's co-workers, Cheryl and her daughters. It's her favorite "friend" to share the experience with.

Imagine Cam's shock when she got out of the tub when running around the corner to this man.


For all of you who donate to the Ronald McDonald house, Thank You, he really brightened her day :)

So since she is still doing well, hopefully this is our last surgery for quite some time!

It's good to be home...

Doesn't her face just say it all?

You know you're bored when...

When you start taking pictures of furniture because you like the color combos and think they're great inspiration for scrapbooking you don't have time to do...

Another Hospital Stay :(

Since Camryn went unresponsive for 90 minutes the ER admitted her about 2 hours after her ambulance ride to St. Paul Children's. She just seemed drunk, never a good sign.

After all the initial tests showed she wasn't having surgery that day,

they finally let her eat :)



Then it was upstairs for more tests...
including an EEG




While we waiting for all those tests to come together, we went to one of the many playrooms the hospital has to offer.


I like to call it the room with the view!


I must admit, I love how she keeps her spirits up when she has to stay in bed for long periods of time.


Hopefully the new setting will prevent us from having to go back soon :)