7 years...

Today marks 7 years. Seven years of loss in my eyes. Hopefully some days soon it will stop. Even though I understand why we are committed to our country, I still have thoughts that why our country went was based on lies. It just saddens me to think about those who have lost, and worries me to think of those we might lose. The terrorism didn't end that day, and it didn't start that day, but why we live in terror has some new attributes. I hope this will resolve before too many suffer...

Do you remember where you were that day??

I was at home, nursing my son, then 6 months old. My daycare children were asleep in their beds and for some reason, Dan woke up late, took a while to get to work. After the computer systems crashed (because they were linked with stuff in the WTC) he was told not to come in anyway. It was probably the only time that my family was together through such a tragic event. Dan, Myself, Mikayla, and Davin. Sitting on the couch, holding each other close, staring at the TV in disbelief and wondering who we knew was on the inside. Wondering if we knew someone on that plane. Horrified to know that the next attach could be anywhere...

Please hug those you love today, call this National let those I love know I love them day.

Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyy IIIIIInnteresting!!!!

You Are Psyche!

Eternally in search of purpose and insight. You're curious and creative with a total sense of wonder. Totally empathetic, you pick up on other's moods easily. Just be sure to pamper yourself as well!

What Goddess Are You?

Another day of school

Good Morning Everyone!
Just another morning with school on the agenda. I thought this time of year would give me more time to get things done, but it doesn't help that month end is the during the first week of school. We were trying to think of ways to get the kids involved, but not overwhelm them (ok, ourselves) and we think we found the compromise!

Mikayla-Volleyball from 9-10 on Saturday
Davin-Flag Football from 10-11 on Saturday
Elli-Soccer from 3:30-4:15 on Tuesdays

All the while thinking how wonderful we were being to try and arrange all of this, we missed something. Now Camryn, they don't really have anything for her age group here, and aside from that, the two things they do have, she is not allowed to do (contact sports)so we didn't sign her up for any activities..
You would not believe how sad she is over this (ok, we couldn't believe it) and it's all because of her peapod (Elli). Camryn and Elli have done everything together until May of 06 together and 90% of things together since then. This year, Elli goes to a new school, no longer goes to Stacie's with Cam and Camryn looks like she feels lost without her partner in crime. Then we sign up Elli for an activity that Camryn is not allowed to do. And also don't sign her up for anything, so she no longer has something of her own as well. Preschool also hasn't started (they start next week) so I know this further makes her wonder why we are treating her differently.
So... what CAN we do? That is harder to figure out than we thought... How do you sign up a kid for something that you don't know can even go to? We might just have to do spur of the moment things with her on a weekly basis so that we don't overcommit. I would love to see suggestions if you have them, please leave them in the comments section.
Thanks!!!

So much for some serious scrapping time...

But I did manage to get these done for Saturday night...


I love the skittles... Can you see them??? I hope that they like them!
What do you guys think?

"Your Fired!"

It's amazing!



Just two years ago, we were struggling with Camryn's shunt, this was her wearing her first home EEG. We were trying to figure out how I was going to work from home, how we were going to balance everything with special needs children, and how we were going to make sure we fit time in for sleep as well. We found a wonderful lady named Stacie, an Ex-RN, who with three children of her own, two of which were the same age as two of ours, agreed to take on our two little ones. At the time Camryn was 2 and Elli was 3. They were nothing short of a handful and Stacie took that challenge head on. She worked tirelessly with our girls and their goals through the summer of 06 and helped me regain my sanity. It was wonderful. The girls have done amazingly well and Camryn has been in the best hands possible during all of the strange medical issues we have had. It's been so helpful to know that we can leave and feel like our girls are with family. There is no Thank You big enough we can give her, I just hope that she knows how much we appreciate everything she does for our children, and more so, our family. So to see these pictures now and see how far the girls have come, I know that we couldn't be here, if it weren't for Stacie (and Scott, Cathy, Terry!!!) I love how happy they all look :)



This picture was taken on Elli's last day. Stacie had joked that it was the day she was fired so much, that Elli confirmed it for her! In the most lovingly way possible...
"You're Fired!!!!"

Inspiration

So I was digging around You Tube to listen to some new bands that will be on the boat, doing some homework to see if there were any other concerts I might want to fit in before the end of the year. When listening to an old favorite, I found this video blog..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF1j95WLJSo&feature=related

Now I know this comes back to Mike and to my Grandfather, but more than that... I am feeling my connection to where I work. I think I found my new mission statement for my family and it's towards the end of this clip...

Learn from the past & Believe in the future, but most of all, livestrong in the journey.

This has so much for me...

Man I miss Mike today.

82 years and counting...

Friday we celebrated my grandmother's 82nd birthday. She's a tiny woman full of so much spunk and though she drives my mom and aunt crazy, I love everything about her. She has to do things in her own way, in her own time, letting no one rush her through life. She's just amazing to me. She lives in her own apartment, taking care of most of her daily living duties and socializing with her neighbors at the organized activities. She has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers and though it stinks, it's part of getting old. I can understand that. At the age of 30 I find some things slipping my mind that used to be embedded in my brain. Part of the cycle of life, right? If there is one thing I hope she never gives to the disease, it's her sense of humor. Here were some of the following conversations...

Are you taking pictures? You can't take my picture, why do you have to take MY picture? Why are you bringing the camera?
When I told her that I wouldn't leave her alone unless I could take her picture she gave in, understanding that I am more stubborn than she is when it comes to capturing memories!

Since this is the digital age, I can show her the picture, so I did. She then says, OHHHHHHHH that's beautiful!!!!
Later on she grabs me, tells me that I have to take a picture of her with the balloon that Camryn brought home from the hospital (thanks to PAPA) I just couldn't help myself!


So then later on, the kids were playing having a good time, I decided to get some of those snapshots as well...






Then I had to ask for some family shots, we haven't had that many since my grandfather passed away and I wanted to get them while people were together...

My parents with Camryn


My step grandparents (married over 40 years)

My cousin Mara and her childhood friend Megan. Mara turned 28 on Aug 8th.

Half of the cousins.. My aunt Carmen, Cousin Margarita, My mom, Cousin Cruz Celia


My Grandmother, with as my grandmother calls her"my baby"

All in all a great night. We had awesome food, which Dan loves and had to miss out on, so I decided to take pictures to torture him with ;)




I hope I can live that long :)

History Repeats Itself

Though I look horrible in this picture (no make up, hair not done) I absolutely love it. It reminds me of what I used to look like as a kid, yet I am standing right next to her. Remarkable how much our family lives with us once we have kids, isn't it?

With the past in hand, moving forward

This picture was taken in May on the last day of school. It stands for so many things in our lives and it helps me bring the past with me as I move foward. I know that people say looking back is bad and it holds you back, but for us, it has taught us so much. We need to bring that knowledge with us into the future. Camryn is about to start another year of preschool. Mr. Jason (teacher) and Mrs. Karen (Para) have been a huge part of Camryn's life. They have helped her along the dark path she has taken with seizures, and in so many ways. They have helped her grow, learn, accept what she has, and most of all, live every day to the best of her ability with laughter! Just look at that giggle she is in the middle of? You can feel the love in that picture, and it's hard to believe that this was 3 months ago. Despite all she has been through, she still giggles like this, she still enjoys life so much. I have these two souls to thank for teaching me how to have a child with such set backs and make the most of them going forward! I hope this year turns out to be better now that we know what kind of seizures she has. It's hard to believe that she has been diagnosed with partial complex seizures from the left temperal lobe. I just can't believe it is so defined! Now I need to get all the ducks in a row with her team at school, get orders on file with the ambulance service that transports her, and help Stacie by making sure she has what she needs and feels as empowered to deal with what Camryn has as we do. No easy task, but we will get there. Every step towards the future carring a bigger suitcase of knowledge with us.

Music Music Music!

Now most people out there get a song stuck in their head from time to time. Some people listen to the radio for hours every day, some go as far as wearing an iPOD every chance they get. And then there are people like me... I do all of the above and apparently I sing and hum everywhere I go. It's not "whistle while you work" but it's still a HUGE part of who I am. The VP of HR at my company gives me crap for my concert/music obsessions, but today, she imitated something I didn't even know I was doing! I was singing while I was walking down the hall to get my mail (bills everyday, feels like home ;) just quieter) and I was oblivious to it. So somewhere around " is it standing right here, singing this song" (sugarland's new CD rocks!!! Helps that a Matt Nathanson song is on it) she starts laughing and since I don't know that I am singing those exact lyrics at that moment, she points out to me that I must have listen to every song on the planet, and therefore are making up my own words. When I try to explain to her what song/band it was from, she just starts laughing harder. Accusing me of trying to cover it up, as if I was that crazy person who talks to themselves and then follows up with a response!!! EEEE-GATS! Could this be me? I am the crazy lady who sings to herself? All the while being only 30???? So I know that music is huge for me, I played 5 instruments, sang in choir for 13 years, and did musicals for 6 years, often with leading rolls. It's just always been a part of who I am. Well little did I realize how out of control my addiction really was... I buy music in stores, online, get copies from friends, go to concerts, look who's coming up in concert, and yes, go on a cruise that is the best floating music festival ever orchestrated!!! Ok, so maybe I know how much I love music, can you blame me? It's so expressive, relaxing, and therapeutic!!! Well today I learned that there are others that are worse. Namely my friend, Veronica, partner in crime for my concert going. She has no children, so it's a full time hobby for her and there are days when I am so jealous I could SCREAM! Days when I wish I could give her the freedom to always order me a ticket no matter what time, what day, what place. Days when I wish I could submerse myself in it and make the world stop revolving around me. My own little utopia. Then there are other days. Days like yesterday that just give me another reason to love music. There is a saying "music is the same in any language, from the heart" and I love this saying. Yesterday, Elli was in the back of the truck requesting music by artist, by album, by song. She knows them in order, she knows them out of order, she knows who wrote them in some cases. She is not music prejudice by any means either. She likes the following... The presidents of the United States Led Zepplin Eagles ABBA Garth Brooks Lady Antebellum Sugarland Jake Owen Cheryl Crow Buck Cherry Three Doors Down Matt Nathanson Josh Kelly Matt Wertz Sheck Sound Track Bruce Springstein's Christmas Rock Now 12, 21, 23 And this is just for starters!! She can be quizzed like any adult and she belts these songs out with so much pride. I look back at this kid who couldn't really talk at the age of 2 and it amazes me how far she has come. She just needed a way to connect to the world around her. And music helped her accomplish this... Just fills my heart with notes!

I included a video of a Rock Boat Rookie feelin' the music!!